The Consultation That Cost Me $300 (And Why It's the Most Important Part of Your Service)

Let me tell you about the appointment that changed everything.

She walked in on a Tuesday afternoon—a new client, referral from one of my regulars. We chatted while I ran my fingers through her hair. She said she wanted "something different," that she was "ready for a change," maybe "lighter, but not too light."

I nodded. Showed her some photos on my phone. She said "yes, something like that."

I felt confident. I'd done this a thousand times before.

Three hours later, we were both staring at the mirror with that terrible, sinking feeling in our stomachs. Her hair wasn't bad—technically, it was well-executed. But it wasn't right. It wasn't what she wanted. And honestly? It wasn't really what I thought she wanted either, once I saw it finished.

She gave me that polite smile. You know the one. "It's fine," she said. "It's just... different than I pictured."

I didn't charge her full price. I booked her to come back the following week to adjust it. And as I watched her walk out—disappointed, trying to hide it—I felt sick.

The Truth I Had To Face

Here's what I realized as I swept up her hair that day: I never really knew what she wanted.

I thought I did. I picked up on keywords. I looked at pictures. I used my experience and intuition to fill in the blanks.

But I guessed. I assumed. I projected what I thought would look good instead of truly understanding her vision, her lifestyle, her expectations.

And we both paid the price for it.

That night, I couldn't stop thinking about it. And the more I thought, the more I realized: this wasn't the first time. How many of my "fix-it" appointments, my color corrections, my clients who never came back—how many of those actually started with a failed consultation?

The consultation isn't just a formality before the "real work" begins. The consultation IS the work. It's the foundation that everything else is built on. And if that foundation is shaky? Everything that follows will be too.

Why Consultations Fail (And Why We Let Them)

Let's be real about why consultations often get rushed or glossed over:

We're running behind. Your 2pm is here and your 1pm went long and you've got back-to-back clients until closing. Who has time for a 20-minute consultation?

We think we already know. She wants balayage. He wants a fade. We've done this a million times. We can read between the lines.

We're afraid to ask too many questions. What if we seem inexperienced? What if they get annoyed? What if they think we don't know what we're doing?

We don't want to talk them out of it. They're excited about going platinum. You know it's going to take multiple sessions and serious commitment, but you don't want to be a buzzkill. You'll just... see how it goes.

We speak different languages. When she says "just a trim," she means half an inch. When you hear "just a trim," you're thinking two inches. Neither of you clarifies until it's too late.

I've been guilty of all of these. And every single one has cost me—in time, in money, in reputation, and in the sick feeling of knowing I disappointed someone who trusted me.

What Changed: My Non-Negotiable Consultation Questions

After that appointment, I completely overhauled how I consult. I don't care if I'm running behind. I don't care if it feels like overkill. I would rather spend an extra 15 minutes on the front end than hours fixing it on the back end.

Here's what I ask every single client now, without exception:

1. What do you LOVE about your hair right now?

This question is gold. It tells me what's working, what makes them feel like themselves, what I need to protect at all costs.

Maybe they love their natural texture but hate the color. Maybe they love the length but hate the shape. This gives me parameters to work within.

2. What do you NOT like about your hair?

This is where the real pain points live. Listen carefully here—this is the problem they're hiring you to solve.

Don't just accept vague answers like "I just want something different." Dig deeper. "What specifically feels off? Is it the color? The length? The way it styles? How it feels?"

3. Show me pictures of what you LOVE and what you DON'T like

Pictures are crucial, but here's the catch: make sure the pictures match their natural hair texture.

A loose beachy wave on fine, straight hair will never look like a loose beachy wave on thick, coarse hair. An icy blonde on naturally light hair is a completely different journey than on naturally dark hair.

I actually keep my phone handy and we look at pictures together. I'll say "I love this, but notice how her hair texture is different from yours? Here's what this style might look like on your texture..."

Manage expectations before you even mix the color.

4. How much maintenance do you realistically want to commit to?

This is the reality-check question, and it's non-negotiable.

If they say "low maintenance" but they want platinum blonde and they're a natural level 4? We need to have a real conversation. Not to talk them out of it, but to make sure they understand what they're signing up for.

"Low maintenance for this color means coming in every 8-10 weeks and using purple shampoo at home. Are you comfortable with that?"

Be honest. Be kind. But be clear.

5. What's your styling routine like at home?

This tells you how their hair will look 99% of the time—not just the 1% when you style it in the salon.

Do they blow dry every day? Air dry? Use a flat iron? Throw it in a bun wet?

A haircut that looks amazing when you style it but that they can't recreate at home isn't a successful haircut. You need to know their real life.

6. Have you had any color or chemical services I should know about?

Box dye. Henna. A keratin treatment six months ago they forgot about. Highlights from another salon last year.

These things matter. They affect how the hair will process. And clients don't always think to mention them because they don't realize it's relevant.

I specifically ask: "In the last year, have you colored your hair at home, gotten chemical treatments anywhere else, or used any treatments like keratin or relaxers?"

7. What does [their specific request] mean to YOU?

Never assume you're speaking the same language.

"When you say you want to go lighter, show me on your hair. How light are we talking?"

"When you say you want it shorter, point to where you're imagining the length."

"When you say you want it 'natural looking,' describe what that means to you."

One person's "natural" is another person's "dramatic." One person's "short" is another person's "medium." Get specific.

8. On a scale of 1-10, how adventurous are you feeling today?

This question is brilliant because it gives you permission to gauge their comfort level without putting them on the spot.

A 3 or 4? Take it slow. Make subtle changes. Play it safe.

An 8 or 9? You have creative freedom. They're ready for transformation.

This also protects you from the client who says "I want something TOTALLY different!" but really means "slightly different but still basically the same."

The Magic Question That Saves Everything

Here's the one question I ask at the end of every consultation, right before I start:

"So just to make sure we're on the same page, let me repeat back what I heard..."

Then I summarize everything: the goal, the maintenance level, the timeline if it's a multi-step process, what they should expect when they leave today.

"You want to gradually go lighter over the next few months, you're comfortable with coming in every 8 weeks, and today we're starting with a soft balayage that'll give you some dimension but won't be a dramatic change. Does that sound right?"

This is your safety net. This is where misunderstandings get caught before it's too late.

If they hesitate, if they say "well, actually..."—you're not on the same page yet. Keep asking questions.

What Happened When I Started Doing This

I'm not going to lie: at first, it felt awkward. It felt like too many questions. I worried I was annoying people or making them second-guess their choices.

But here's what actually happened:

Fewer fix-its. Way fewer. Because we both knew exactly what we were working toward before I ever picked up my tools.

Happier clients. Even when the result was slightly different than planned (because hair is unpredictable), they were happy because their expectations were managed from the start.

Better reviews. Clients started commenting on how thorough I was, how listened-to they felt, how confident they were in my process.

More trust. When you ask the right questions, clients see you as the expert. They trust you more, not less.

Less anxiety for me. I stopped lying awake at night wondering if they'd like it. I knew we were aligned before I started.

The Real Cost of a Bad Consultation

That client I told you about at the beginning? I fixed her hair the following week. It turned out beautiful. She was happy. She's actually been back several times since.

But I think about how close I came to losing her. One more bad experience and she would've been gone—and she probably would've told her friends about it too.

A bad consultation doesn't just cost you time and money on that one appointment. It costs you:

• The client's trust and future business
• Referrals they would've sent your way
• Your reputation in your community
• Your own confidence and peace of mind
• Hours of your life spent fixing preventable mistakes

The consultation isn't taking time away from the "real work." The consultation is the real work.

Make It Non-Negotiable

I know you're busy. I know you're running behind. I know it feels like you should just know what they want.

But I'm telling you: an extra 10-15 minutes on the front end saves you hours on the back end.

Block consultation time into your appointments. Build it into your pricing if you need to. Make it non-negotiable.

Because the client sitting in your chair right now? They deserve your full attention, your best questions, and your commitment to truly understanding what they want before you make a single cut or mix a single bowl of color.

They're trusting you with how they present themselves to the world. That deserves a proper consultation.

Your future self—and your future client—will thank you.

xo Jen

What's the most important question YOU ask during consultations? Drop a comment below—I'd love to hear what works for you.